For as Long as I Can
by Spazoid
Summary: Jedi Knight Luminara Unduli lost one of the people she cared for the most on Geonosis. Will she let Obi-Wan help with her grief? *{Complete}*
1. Alone

          Okay, I had the pleasure of seeing Star Wars Episode II today. It was amazing. See it. Now. But… back to the real issue… After seeing the movie and reading the book 'The Approaching Storm', my friend and I have come to the conclusion that Luminara Unduli (a Jedi Knight; you don't need to have read the book, just know that there were many, many hints that they should be together) and Obi-Wan Kenobi should be together. Oh, and Barriss Offee was Luminara's padawan. Minor spoiler to the movie.

Disclaimer: Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi, Geonosis, Coruscant, Luminara and the Jedi, do not belong to me. They belong to Lucas. Damn. 

For as Long as I Can

Spazoid

They had lost countless people; good people who gave their lives for a republic that had lost faith for them. Nearly three hundred Jedi had died at Geonosis. And yet- Luminara Unduli guiltily realized only one really mattered to her.

          Her strikingly blue eyes gazed out at the gleaming expanse of Coruscant, tinted reds and gold by the setting sun, seeing nothing except for one person. Her apprentice- _former_ apprentice- she thought bitterly. Barriss Offee had been an amazing student, adept in what she did and quick. She would have made a wonderful Jedi… had she made it off Geonosis.

          Luminara closed her eyes at the image sprang to her mind, unbidden, as it often did in her nightmares.

+~+

          _"This isn't so tough Master…." Luminara gave a small smile hearing Barriss, knowing the padawan was dead tired but trying to keep them both going. It was a hard battle; the Jedi where overwhelmed- outnumbered. Yet they persevered; that's what they did._

_          A lull in the battle; how it had happened, Luminara wasn't certain but took the short respite gratefully, gulping air into depleted lungs. _

_          "More, Master!" Barriss shouted as the next wave came, blue blade flashing, cutting droids and deflecting bolts. Luminara never strayed from Barriss' side; she wouldn't dare. Barriss was a fine padawan but in a battle like this…_

_          The fighting became more intense; it was hard for one to see another. Luminara felt herself being unwittingly pulled away from her padawan and struggled to move back. _

_          A single foot. That was all that separated Luminara from Barriss when she saw it. The enemy fire was intense, droids closing in, steadily pushing the few Jedi left back. Barriss was plagued by shots from every angle, struggling to keep up when one droid saw the weakness._

_          Close range, too quickly, too many distractions. Barriss was struck dead on the back and fell, a small pained cry escaping her lips. Luminara felt the bond with her apprentice crumble and die as the living force fled Barriss' body._

_          Luminara was frozen into place, knowing she had to fight, but too stunned and filled with pain to react. It was so un-Jedi like but… her best friend, her only daughter, her legacy… the one person she had cared for the most had been killed by a soulless, mindless, hunk of metal with a blaster._

+~+

          Luminara opened her eyes to realize she was crying again, the salty tears dripping down her chin and onto her dark robe. She made no attempt to wipe them away. She didn't want to. As a Jedi, she knew she should accept Barriss' death and move on but she just _couldn't_. Grief had consumed her and kept her rooted in place.

          "Luminara?"

          The quiet tenor surprised her and she whirled around to see Obi-Wan Kenobi.

          A smile forced itself onto her tattooed lips. "Obi-Wan. How's you leg?" 

          The question hadn't deterred the bearded Jedi as he regarded her with a furrowed brow, walking slowly towards her. "I knocked several times; when you didn't answer, I became worried."

          Luminara shook her head as he came to stand beside her. "I'm fine; thank you for worrying though."

          "Fine?" His voice was surprisingly soft and Luminara gave a quiet start when one callused, but gentle, finger brushed against her cheek. He held it up so she could see the tear he had collected. "I don't believe crying in a darkened apartment alone counts as fine."

          Luminara turned away from him, moving farther out onto the balcony. "Please, Jedi Kenobi, don't play 'pop- psychologist' with me."

          "I'm not." He moved as well, following her. "I'm just saying no one should have to grieve alone. It is far too painful."

          "How would you know?" The bitter words left Luminara's mouth before she could stop them; words fueled by sadness and hurt.

          Obi-Wan seemed to take no offense, though his bright blue eyes dimmed for a moment. "Through experience. Please Luminara just let me help…"

          Her eyes met his for a brief moment and Luminara forced herself to turn away. The open emotions she saw in his eyes -- hurt, hope, care…and love -- it was almost more than she could take. "Obi-Wan—I don't think—I mean…" She choked on her own words, wanting so much the comfort he was willing to give but fearing that it might bring her own emotions to light.

          His arms encircled her, bringing her close to his strong chest. Her whole body stiffened at the contact… at first. Slowly, unable to resist the warmth she felt physically and through the Force, she relaxed in his arms, tears beginning to form again.

          "Don't hold it in…" a quiet, simple command that created a tremendous response.

          Tears slid out of her eyes once more, staining his tunic. "I feel like I failed her… I miss her so much. All I see are things that remind me of Barriss…"

          Obi-Wan never answered- not with words. He just held her tighter, waves of comfort wrapping around her through the Force.

          How long they remained like that, the Jedi Master was unsure. Finally, her tears subsided and she looked up at Obi-Wan, who held open warmth and worry in his eyes. "Better?"

          Luminara nodded and rested her head against his chest yet again, listening to his steady heartbeat. "Yes… thank you… just… never mind."

          "What?" Obi-Wan's fingers titled her chin up so that she had to look at him squarely. His fingers soothingly caressed her cheek.

          "Just… don't leave; stay with me, if only for a little while." It was a moment of vulnerability for Luminara. It could be a mistake on her part; what she saw as love might have just been deep friendship.

          Doubts fled as Obi-Wan leaned down gently brushed his lips against hers. "I will stay for as long as I can."

          The tattooed Jedi understood. He would not promise to be with her forever but he would try. 

          And that was enough.  


	2. Hypocrite

          All right, this was originally meant to be a one shot fic but so many, including one very good friend, asked for a sequel… So here it is. Only it ends much like the first time, with no real closure, so therefore I have to right about one or two more chapters to close things up. Be patient. And I noticed something – this was the first Luminara/Obi-Wan fic on FF.net. I'm so special.

Disclaimer: Jedi, Obi-Wan, Luminara and so forth all belong to Lucas. Which is good because me with a lightsaber would be a bad thing.

A/N 2: If you have read my friend Ender's fic Forbidden, you may notice the two seem a bit alike. No, neither copied off the other, we just supported each other's ideas and tossed them back and forth. So please, no arguments or accusations.

For as Long as I Can 

Part 2

Spazoid

He was a very understanding person; he had to be, considering who his former master had been. But now, Obi-Wan Kenobi had been pushed past to his limits.

          He had sat alone, high in a meditation tower overlooking Coruscant, since the previous evening; now it was near dawn. His piercing blue eyes finally opened as he gave a quiet sigh, watching the shimmering vessels cross the trafficked sky, tinted by the sun peeking over the rim of the giant city.

          He unfurled his legs, rubbing out the slight cramps from sitting so long. His brown robe pooled around him and he placed his hands in the sleeves to ward off the slight chill. His usually calm thoughts were in turmoil, replaying one scene in his mind over and over again.

+~+

          _"Anakin, could I please speak to you?" His voice was low, barely concealing the worry and anger he felt._

_          Obi-Wan watched his apprentice turn towards him, puzzlement in his youthful features, before he stood and walked over to stand in front of his master. "Yes Master?"_

_          "I was speaking to Captain Typho earlier…" Obi-Wan started slowly, watching his apprentice's face._

_          "Yes…?" Anakin asked uncertainly, obviously not knowing where this was going._

_          "He was with Threepio when the droid mentioned something to him. Something you neglected to tell me."_

_          Anakin's face paled and the Jedi Master knew he had caught on. "And what would that be Master?" The boy answered faintly._

_          Hurt flashed through Obi-Wan, a now familiar feeling. "Padawan, is it not bad enough that you disobeyed the code and married but that you also have to lie to me as well?"_

_          Anger replaced the fear in Anakin's eyes so quickly it startled Obi-Wan. "You wouldn't understand! No one does!"_

_          As the boy began to yell, Obi-Wan felt his careful control slipping. "Anakin Skywalker, you are still my apprentice and you will _**not **_raise your voice to me, you—"_

_          "Stop it! It's always with the rules! You don't know what I can do because your always holding me back!"_

_          "I hold you back because you are too reckless! Too arrogant in your own abilities!" Obi-Wan yelled back, his own anger threatening to consume him. "You think you know everything when you know nothing because you refuse to listen!"_

_          "No, you don't listen." The boy reversed, his voice becoming deadly calm. "You didn't listen to me- my dreams- and now my mother is dead. Maybe if you had listened to your inner instinct, you wouldn't have lost Qui-Gon."_

_          Bitter words. Obi-Wan felt himself reeling, stung more than the irate padawan would ever know. He swallowed past the large lump that had suddenly appeared in his throat. "You... will remain in this room. I will know if you leave, don't even try it. I want you to think about your words and your actions. I will speak to the Council about this later."_

_          With a heart heavy and the Force eluding him, he left the room, hurrying to be alone, where he could hide the tears forming._

+~+

          Obi-Wan felt the bitter taste of bile rise in his throat once again. He had handled the situation horribly; he should not have lost his temper. Confronting Anakin had been the wrong strategy. He buried his head in his hands, trying to rub away the migraine forming.

          Qui-Gon would have known what to do.

          It made his heart ache but nothing could mar the truth. He had done everything he could to live up to his Master's standards but he wasn't even half as good as him.

          Ten years of pent up grief, pushed aside for others, welled up inside and threatened to spill over before the stoic Jedi Master pushed it back, like so many times before. His eyes slid back to the Coruscant skies, alight with even more ships now.

          "Obi-Wan, I've been looking all over for you." 

          Obi-Wan turned at Luminara Unduli's exasperated voice, smiling faintly in the olive colored woman's direction. "I apologize, Luminara; I needed to think some things over."

          She tilted her head, looking at him with vividly blue eyes, seeming to know something more. "Okay, Obi-Wan, spill it."

          Her orders surprised him, and he could not help but smile a little wider. "What? Excuse me? When did you start ordering me around?"

          She came down and sat beside him, blue robes billowing. She turned to him and ran a delicate finger along his cheek. "When I realized you had lost your way and needed someone to lead you back."

          Obi-Wan felt his throat constrict; he wanted to so badly to tell her what was wrong, but was afraid of reminding her of her own deceased Padawan.

          Luminara felt his turmoil through the bond they had formed accidentally only a few days before and cupped his face in her hands. "Obi-Wan, tell me. Please don't leave me worrying."

          The bearded Master gave up. "It's Anakin," he admitted. "While on Naboo… he… I don't believe him… he married the Senator, Padme Amidala. I knew he cared for her but to go so far…" he trailed off. His expression darkened. "I went so wrong… Qui-Gon would be sorely disappointed that his training was put to waste on me…"" The bitter taste was back in his mouth.

          Luminara just wrapped her arms around his and brought him closer, silently reveling in the touch of his body to hers. "Hush, Obi-Wan. You did all you could… not all- not even those destined to be the chosen one- can become a knight…"

          He struggled through the words, throat clenching. "But… I failed Qui-Gon…" Therein lied all his problems. Years after he had become a knight, he still feared failing his Master.

          Luminara recognized the problem immediately. She began rocking him gently back and forth, whispering comfortingly. " No Obi-Wan, you didn't fail him. He would have been very proud of you. Very, very proud…"

          The wall was crumbling; the invisible wall that had held all his turmoil was coming down. It broke and tears slid down his face in salty rivers as he cried into Luminara's cloak, the way she had down mere days before. And like he had to her, Luminara just held on till the crying subsided.

          Obi-Wan felt Luminara tilt his chin up gently and kiss him softly. His arms wrapped themselves around her and pulled her close as he kissed her a little deeper. Heat flooded his body, pleasurable warmth he didn't want to loose.

          "You hypocrite." The voice made Obi-Wan tear away from Luminara and looked wide-eyed at a livid Anakin. "You tell me- and then you-" the enraged Padawan couldn't even form sentences. He gave his master one last hateful glare and left before Obi-Wan could utter a single sound.

          Obi-Wan went to rise but felt Luminara hold him back. "No, Obi-Wan. It will only end in a shouting match, you know that."

          It was true. So he settled back and waited, mulling over his padawan's words for a moment before dismissing them. He would have to wait with Luminara.

          And that was enough.


	3. Pain

The inspiration to write the last and final part of this story came today at whim. Please, ignore the errors and such for it was written quickly and I'm far too lazy to check for errors. Reviews are welcome but please, no flames for what happens in this story. I saw no other way to work it out.

Disclaimer: Obi-Wan, Luminara, the Jedi, Vader, so on and so forth belong to Lucas. Jakil Dule, though, belongs to me. Hmm… my own Jedi…

For as Long as I Can

Epilogue

Spazoid

He stood alone in the barren wasteland, brown robe flapping around him in the lonely wind.

            Tears streaked down Obi-Wan's rugged, prematurely aged face. This was it. It was over, done; there was nothing else he could do now. The Jedi were gone and defeated, wiped out by the Empire's and Anak- _no, Vader's _Obi-wan thought- ruthless tactics. 

            Pain twisted in his heart again, remembering the last front the Jedi had held. At the temple, ironically. He closed his eyes, sucking in a breath, forcing himself to remember.

+~+

            "All Jedi! Hold your ground! They may be able to take out lives but they will never take our home!" Jedi Master Jakil Dule yelled over the whine of blasters and hum of lightsabers.

_            Obi-Wan, face in a grim line, fought besides his compatriots, his friends. The blue blade in his hands was a blur of movement as were so many others._

_            Stormtroopers fired ineffectively into the masses, their bolts being hit right back into them._

_            Damn that armor though… It still protected them from many of the bolts hit back at them. Jedi began to fall as sheer numbers overwhelmed them._

_            "Just a walk in the park, right Master Kenobi?" Obi-Wan spared a quick, small smile at Luminara next to him. He had come to rely on her humor over the years. Eventually, they had told the council. With the lack of Jedi, the remaining members had concurred with a bonding._

_            Anakin had been livid. It had begun._

_            Palpatine had corrupted him; they realized too late and the Empire had begun its extermination of all the Jedi. The people, blinded by greed and forgetting all the Jedi had done for them, had turned against them. They refused to hide them, killing them and would hand them over to the empire. Those that did help were quickly and brutally executed._

_            Obi-Wan was brought back to the harsh reality around him with a sudden lull, a sudden hush, in battle._

_ High above the others, the dark figure stood, black cloak billowing out behind him. Obi-Wan felt himself shudder as Darth Vader's gaze landed on him. He had helped to create this monster. The fighting increased tenfold, the last remaining Jedi giving it all they had._

Not enough… it's not enough! _Obi-Wan thought in despair as more and more were cut down. Vader was a dangerous presence, killing any Jedi that got close._

_            Obi-Wan, a cry springing from his lips, leapt towards the stormtroopers, cutting them down, showing just how good a swordsman he was. A sudden flash of warning made him jerk his head around to look at Vader. His gut clenched at what he saw._

_            Vader had Luminara in his sights. Her small body was dwarfed by his, her face determined even though the woman must have known she would never win._

Feel the pain I did when you took my love away from me, denied what I loved and ground it in my face by taking your own. _The words echoing in his head were familiar but not._

_            "NO!" Obi-Wan cried in despair, running towards the one thing left he truly cared about. But he was too far… too far away. That cruel laugh echoed in his head and it was over with a sweep, a parry, and a thrust. Luminara crumpled._

_            "Retreat! Re-" Dule's words were cut off by Vader's red blade. Obi-Wan raced forward and scooped Luminara up in his arms, holding her close._

_            "No! Luminara no! Please, Force, don't go!" His words were choked with tears. It was a repeat of Qui-Gon, just as painful._

_            A small smile graced her tattooed lips, ignoring the blood seeping between them. Her hand weakly caressed his face. "Don't cry… we knew Obi-Wan. You said it yourself. 'For as long as I can'. Please love. Don't cry."_

_            "No…no…" His shoulders shook with sobs as he held her close. He could feel her life force fading… _

_            "Run." She gasped, fighting the tug of the Force. "Go. Padme's twins, Obi-Wan. Keep them safe." She drew in a strangled breath, blood bubbling in her mouth and whispered. "I love you…"_

_            And then she was gone._

_            The mournful cry escaped his lips as he set her body down and watched it fade into the Force. Stumbling up, feeling numb all over, he ran. Fulfilling her last request._

+~+

            It was the soft cry of a baby that shook Obi-Wan from his painful memories. Wiping his tears away roughly, he walked back into the small hut that would now be his home.

            Nestled amongst blankets, a tiny little baby boy cried for attention. Obi-Wan softly brushed away errant gold locks, soothing the child with the Force. "Hush Luke… all will be well."

            Picking up the babe, Obi-Wan sheltered him in folds of blankets and his robe and readied him for the long trip to the Lars homestead. Luke would grow up with no knowledge of his father until the time was right. And then… Obi-Wan looked out once and the now star filled sky.

            And then, Obi-Wan would see his love and his master once more.

            And that was enough.


End file.
